Body image goes far beyond what we see in the mirror. For many of us, our self-perception is influenced by complex, layered identities – our race, culture, gender, sexuality, ability, and more. Each part of our identity brings unique pressures, shaping how we view ourselves and feel seen by others. Recognising these intersections helps us understand that body image isn’t one-dimensional; it’s woven from the many parts of who we are and the world around us.
Growing up, I felt the push and pull of expectations – from society, family, and within myself. Navigating these intersections – my race, culture, gender, sexuality, disability, and more – showed me just how layered body image really is. Each identity brought its own challenges, shaping how I see myself and how I choose to show up in the world. By sharing my lived and living experiences, I hope to shed light on how intersections shape self-perception and create space for others to feel less alone.
My intersectional lived experiences
1. Race
Growing up Vietnamese and Malaysian in a mostly white community, I often felt like I was navigating two worlds in terms of body image. At home, my family celebrated our cultural beauty. My mom would braid my hair and remind me of the beauty in my skin tone. Outside, though, I was bombarded with different ideals. Looking at magazines that rarely showed people who looked like me left a persistent sting. Sometimes, I wished my features were more “Western.” Over time, I’ve learned that beauty isn’t about looking a certain way but about embracing what makes us unique.
2. Culture
In my family, body image often came with loving but firm observations. My family valued health, but there was also a focus on body size and appearance that left me feeling unsure. At gatherings, relatives would comment on whether I’d gained or lost weight, thinking it was just casual conversation. I was caught between honouring my culture and finding my own path to self-acceptance. It took time, but I’ve realised that I can embrace my heritage while shaping my own definition of beauty.
3. Gender
Being nonbinary in a world that often thinks in terms of “male” and “female” has been a unique challenge for my body image. Traditional gender expectations didn’t feel right for me, and as I grew to understand my gender identity, I realised I didn’t fit into any box. People would comment that I looked “too masculine” or “not feminine enough,” as though I had to choose one side. Embracing my gender expression as fluid and unique has been freeing, helping me see that I don’t need to conform to be valid.
4. Sexuality
As a pansexual person, I’ve felt the pressure to fit beauty standards around “desirability.” Society often tells us that being attractive means conforming to heterosexual ideals, but my identity isn’t tied to those norms. I remember feeling torn between signalling my identity to other queer people and avoiding stereotypes. Dating added another layer of self-consciousness, as though my worth was tied to looking “acceptable” to others. Finding a supportive queer community has been empowering, helping me see beauty and desirability as a broad, inclusive spectrum.
5. Disability
As an autistic person, I’ve always felt that I experience my body differently. Sensory sensitivities mean that certain fabrics or styles feel uncomfortable, making it hard to “dress to fit in.” I remember forcing myself to wear specific clothes to feel more “normal,” but it left me feeling disconnected. Embracing my sensory needs has become essential to my self-acceptance. Now, I prioritise comfort and authenticity over trends, honouring my body’s unique needs as valid.
6. Trauma
Experiencing family violence and sexual assault profoundly impacted my body image and sense of self. These experiences left me feeling disconnected from my body, as though it was somehow broken or “wrong.” I remember struggling to look in the mirror, feeling as if I carried the weight of those painful experiences in how I saw myself. Reclaiming my body as my own has been a slow and challenging journey. Therapy, supportive friends, and self-compassion have helped me begin to see myself through a gentler lens. The path to feeling safe in my body has been long but has shown me my strength and resilience.
7. Housing
Growing up with housing insecurity and experiences of homelessness, I faced unique challenges in building a positive self-image. Moving frequently and sometimes living in unstable or crowded conditions made me feel like I didn’t have a “home” or place to belong. I remember hesitating to invite friends over, worried they might judge my living situation. This insecurity extended to how I viewed myself. Over time, I’ve realised that my worth isn’t defined by where I live or what I have. I am whole and valuable, regardless of my surroundings.
8. Education
School was one of the first places where I felt the lack of education on body image and mental health. I remember feeling lost and unsure about how to navigate self-esteem and identity in an environment without guidance on these topics. Without education on mental health or self-image, I often felt isolated, comparing myself to classmates who seemed effortlessly confident. It’s shown me the importance of supportive educational settings that address these issues, helping young people learn to value themselves beyond appearances.
9. Employment
In some jobs, I encountered appearance-based biases that affected how I viewed myself in the workplace. I noticed that colleagues who fit certain beauty standards seemed to receive more positive attention, while those who didn’t were often overlooked. This experience left me questioning if my body image somehow influenced my professional worth. Realising that appearance-based judgment shouldn’t define my contributions has been empowering. Now, I value roles that emphasise skills, growth, and collaboration, where my performance – not my appearance – is what matters.
10. Technology
Social media has been a double-edged sword for my body image. While it connected me with supportive communities, it also exposed me to idealised images that made me question myself. I remember scrolling through photos of influencers, feeling a pang of inadequacy. Learning about digital literacy helped me view these images critically. Now, I follow accounts that celebrate authenticity, reminding myself that my worth isn’t tied to perfection but to being real.
For those who may see themselves in these reflections:
You’re not alone. Each part of you – your strengths, struggles, and unique intersections – adds depth to who you are. Embrace your individuality, even when it feels like the world doesn’t see the beauty in your differences. Building positive body image may feel challenging, but it’s a journey of self-compassion, and each step honours your whole self.
For allies and supporters:
Small actions matter. Validate the experiences of young people around you, honour the uniqueness of their identities, and listen without judgement. Your support doesn’t need to have all the answers – it’s your presence and acceptance that remind us we’re valued just as we are.
For decision-makers and leaders:
Listen to our lived experiences. Work alongside young advocates and amplify our lived and living expertise. Help us make schools, workplaces, and communities inclusive and affirming for all identities. Empower us to be leaders to create the world that we need. By supporting young advocates, you’re creating lasting and meaningful change.
