Getting your teens off social media is about as likely as becoming BFFs with Taylor Swift, but TEC Youth Crew member Abbey Williams shares her tips for helping your teen develop a healthy relationship with social media.
“Get off your phone! You’re always so moody when you’re on the phone!”
Sound familiar? That’s what my parents often said to me growing up. I am now 19 but have had a phone since my 12th birthday and with that, multiple social media accounts. I feel like I have learnt a bit from going through my teens with social media as a source of both positivity and negativity.
While the obvious, and probably my parents’ preferred, solution would have been to completely delete every account I have on every platform and live a technology-free life, this is just not feasible for someone in our generation. Social media is such a large part of how we interact with each other, understand pop culture references and socialise.
It is important to note that social media apps make their money through advertising and the more time you spend on their app, ie. the longer they hold your attention, the more money they make. On balance, social media is a large component of our generation’s socialisation, with references carrying across into in-person interactions. A healthy relationship with social media is possible and here are some things I have found useful.
I have had Instagram the longest out of all the social media platforms and I have seen how people use it change over time. When I first got my account, people would post quite frequently small things that they were doing in their day. Since the addition of stories and other features, the app has a much more selective and curated feel to its use.
My first tip would be to steer well clear of the discovery page. Instagram is a great platform for keeping up to date with people whose content you do want to see, the discovery page is a hook in to try and keep you on the app for longer and where a lot of ads are displayed. I have found a lot of problematic body image posts and harmful food-related content in this area of the app, so I advise to stick to your main feed when you are on Instagram.
Something I have done more recently that has had a positive impact on my use of Instagram has been to diversify my feed. What I mean by this is to follow a different range of people and accounts. This doesn’t just apply to kinds of people but diversify your feed by following cooking platforms, sports teams, art accounts, bands and other people that are pursuing passions and sharing their craft rather than appearance orientated content.
TikTok
This is the big one. TikTok is quite dangerous as it eats up a lot of your time. The scrolling is very addictive, and you don’t have a lot of ability to select what content is shown to you.
My best advice would be to engage predominantly with the content posted by people that you follow, in other words, watch the videos under the “following” page rather than “for you”, where content is presented to you without any control.
Use the app lock setting in screen time (apple users) to set a daily limit on app use so that you can still get up to speed with friends and accounts you follow without it taking up all of your time.
BeReal
I never downloaded BeReal. It looked really fun at first and I felt like I was missing out by not downloading it but I held off. I soon started noticing my friends talking about the app and justifying to each other why they’re always at their desk or in their room when the notification goes off. I understand what the app was trying to get at with the guise of being candid and in the moment but a daily prompt and opportunity for comparison is not entirely constructive.
Snapchat
Snapchat is a lot of fun because you can talk to your friends and see what they’re up to with photos. We can tidy up our social media habits by only having people on Snapchat that we actually talk to.
My advice on Snapchat is to stop sending streaks – I know this might sound weird, but you’ll be surprised how much your screen time will go down. You will have more meaningful interactions, not just sending a blank screen back and forth. It is beneficial because you will only be talking to people that you’re actually talking to rather than an empty screen.
General advice
- Go to social media with purpose. This might be to look up inspiration for a new artwork, to talk to friends or see what your favourite band is up to behind the scenes while they’re on tour. If you’re going on to these platforms with a more direct purpose, you’re less likely to get caught doom scrolling. In other words, avoid using social media as a time-filler or boredom buster – it might be time to take the dog for a walk or try out a new hobby!
- Use your photos app as your own social media. Start taking photos of things that make you happy and add it to an album on your phone. You don’t have to post these photos, they’re just for you – a fun collection of moments when you felt good. By doing this, you will get in the habit of looking around your own life for things that make you happy and grateful.
- Feed your feed. Follow a diverse range of accounts that aren’t appearance focused, like friends, hobbies (sewing, knitting, pottery etc), nature, sporting accounts and animals.
- Make friends with the “report” button. If you see something that doesn’t feel positive, report it, whether this relates to identities, misinformation, body image or anything in between.
- Talk to your friends or family about what you come across online – both positive and negative. There are some awesome things to discover online and part of the fun is sharing them with the people around you. Equally, there are some not-so-nice things online too. If you come across something that upsets you, there are lots of people around to support you and chat about it, like friends, family and teachers. If you want to talk to someone anonymously, Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800) or Headspace are always there for a chat too.
Finally, treat yourself with kindness and compassion when using social media, and always think critically about the information that’s being presented to you.
