Helping your child navigate social media can feel like an impossible task as a parent, but there are lots of things you can do to combat harmful messaging and unrealistic beauty standards online (without throwing their phone out the window).
For decades, researchers have studied the negative impact of traditional media, such as TV and magazines, on young people’s body image. Now, much of the focus is on social media and its role in shaping how young people perceive themselves and others. After all, social media platforms like TikTok and Instagram are not just places to connect – they are also spaces where beauty standards are curated and shared, creating unrealistic expectations that perpetuate harmful pressures on young people to look and act a certain way.
If you have teens at home, you know that trying to keep them away from social media is like trying to stop a tidal wave with a paper cup – impossible. But before you throw all your smartphones out the window, there are other ways you can help your kids navigate the digital world and build the skills to use social media confidently. As they become more adept, they can start to critically evaluate the harmful messages they encounter rather than simply absorbing them. Here’s how.
How does social media impact body image?
Research indicates that increased exposure to appearance-related content on Facebook, such as posting, viewing and commenting on images, is linked to higher levels of weight dissatisfaction, drive for thinness, internalisation of the thin ideal, and self-objectification among teenage girls (Meier & Gray, 2014). Additionally, research shows that comparing ourselves to others on social media can significantly lower self-esteem, especially for those already struggling with it (Vogel et al., 2014). Exposure to idealised images has been linked to lower self-esteem and body dissatisfaction in young girls (Fardouly et al., 2015) and it can also contribute to body dysmorphia, leading to risky cosmetic procedures and dietary behaviours (Wilcox & Stephen, 2013), as well as cyberbullying and social conflicts (Craig et al., 2020; Garett et al., 2016; Kim et al., 2022; Nilan et al., 2015).
As a parent, navigating these challenges with your teen involves understanding, open communication, and a proactive approach to addressing their self-esteem and body image. Take the time to engage with them and create a safe environment where they feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgement. Through these conversations, you can gain valuable insights into their internal view of themselves and their thoughts about the world around them. By creating a connection, you can also build trust and strengthen your relationship with your child, which is essential for supporting them in understanding the complexities of their identity and the influences that shape that.
Becoming a real role model
From bonding around a fire in caveman days to sharing memes on Instagram in 2024, humans are social creatures. We learn from observing those around us (social learning theory), so it’s no surprise that parents and guardians play a pivotal role in shaping their children’s attitudes and behaviours towards body image and self-esteem.
Children and young people are keen observers of their parents’ actions and words, especially when it comes to behaviours they perceive as important or desirable. Therefore, by demonstrating self-compassion and acceptance of their bodies, parents can effectively model behaviour for their children to follow.
Research by Arroyo et al. (2020) indicates that parents and children engaging in positive body talk and exhibiting healthy attitudes can have a profound impact. This includes parents speaking positively about their bodies and their children’s bodies. Children who perceive their parents modelling these positive behaviours tend to have higher levels of body appreciation and satisfaction.
The impact of parental modelling extends beyond body image, too. Research by Bandura (1977) suggests that children also learn about self-esteem and self-worth through observation. When parents demonstrate self-compassion and celebrate their strengths and qualities, they are teaching their children to do the same. This sets the stage for healthy self-esteem development, as children learn to appreciate their own unique qualities and talents.
Now that we’ve laid the foundations for understanding how parental modelling and social learning theory influence children’s body image and self-esteem, let’s explore ways to minimise the potential negative impacts of social media on young people.
Starting conversations with your kids about media
Research shows that when parents actively engage in conversations about media with their children, it can significantly impact how young people perceive societal ideals regarding body image and gender.
So whether you’re watching the latest Netflix hit together or scrolling the news online, find opportunities to discuss the unrealistic standards and pressures portrayed in the media. For example, you can point out how a news article frames a particular issue, or encourage children to appreciate diverse body shapes and sizes. By participating in these conversations, children develop critical thinking skills and learn to question why media outlets are trying to portray a certain image or message.
Another effective strategy is to watch movies or TV shows that actively promote healthy body image and self-esteem. By choosing media that celebrates self-acceptance and inner qualities, you can help your child foster a more inclusive and accepting view of themselves and others. For instance, films that focus on characters overcoming challenges and embracing their uniqueness (cough, EMBRACE KIDS!) can show your child that everyone is special in their own way. Discussing the themes of the film afterwards helps your child understand and apply these messages. You could ask questions like, “How do you think the characters felt about themselves?” or “What did you learn about being kind to others?”
Parents and educators can help children develop a more nuanced understanding of media messages by discussing how these portrayals may affect viewers’ perceptions of beauty. Over time, these tools empower young people to distance themselves from negative body image practices and ideals.
Language around food and eating
Helping young people navigate the online world isn’t just about the images – it’s also about the language, especially when it comes to food. Encouraging a focus on the pleasurable aspects of eating rather than diet talk can be a transformative approach to promoting positive body image and healthy eating habits. Emphasise the enjoyment of nutritious foods and the positive feelings associated with nourishing your body, rather than framing food in terms of restriction or guilt.
By focusing on the positive aspects of food, you can help your kids develop a healthy relationship with eating that is not centred around their appearance or weight. A study by Goslin & Koons-Beauchamp (2022) found that parents with healthy body image attitudes were more likely to have children with similar attitudes. This is supported by parents demonstrating self-compassion, engaging in healthy behaviours, communicating positively, staying aware, and maintaining a close, supportive relationship. In doing so, you’re building protective factors for your kids that can help to mitigate the impact of negative influences from peers or media.
Navigating a new way forward
There’s no doubt that body image has a significant impact on quality of life, wellbeing and mental health. While social media can harm young people’s body image and self-esteem, there are plenty of things we can do as parents and educators to help them build protective factors in other ways – like openly discussing body image, setting positive examples and implementing programs in schools and other settings that focus on social-emotional development. Together, we can create a future where young people and adults alike feel confident and happy just as they are.
References
Arroyo, A., Stillion Southard, B. A., Cohen, H., & Caban, S. (2018). Maternal Communication Strategies That Promote Body Image in Daughters. Communication Research, 47(3), 402–427. https://doi.org/10.1177/0093650218781737
Bandura, A. (1977). Social Learning Theory. https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1979-05015-000
Craig, W. (2020). Social Media Use and Cyber-Bullying: A Cross-National Analysis of Young People in 42 Countries. Journal of Adolescent Health, 66(6), S100–S108. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jadohealth.2020.03.006
Fardouly, J., Diedrichs, P. C., Vartanian, L. R., & Halliwell, E. (2015). Social comparisons on social media: The impact of Facebook on young women’s body image concerns and mood. Body Image, 13, 38-45.
Garett, R., Lord, L. R., & Young, S. D. (2016). Associations between Social Media and cyberbullying: A review of the literature. mHealth, 2, 46–46. https://doi.org/10.21037/mhealth.2016.12.01
Goslin, A., & Koons-Beauchamp, D. (2022). The Mother-Daughter Relationship and Daughter’s Positive Body Image: A Systematic Review. The Family Journal, 31(1), 106648072211041. https://doi.org/10.1177/10664807221104109
Kim, S., Garthe, R., Hsieh, W.-J., & Hong, J. S. (2022). Problematic social media use and conflict, social stress, and cyber-victimization among early adolescents. Child and Adolescent Social Work Journal. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10560-022-00857-1
Maor, M., & Cwikel, J. (2015). Mothers’ strategies to strengthen their daughters’ body image. Feminism & Psychology, 26(1), 11–29. https://doi.org/10.1177/0959353515592899
Meier, E. P., & Gray, J. (2014). Facebook Photo Activity Associated with Body Image Disturbance in Adolescent Girls. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 17(4), 199–206. https://doi.org/10.1089/cyber.2013.0305
Nilan, P., Burgess, H., Hobbs, M., Threadgold, S., & Alexander, W. (2015). Youth, Social Media, and cyberbullying among Australian youth: “Sick friends.” Social Media + Society, 1(2), 205630511560484. https://doi.org/10.1177/2056305115604848
Vogel, E. A., Rose, J. P., Roberts, L. R., & Eckles, K. (2014). Social comparison, social media, and self-esteem. Psychology of Popular Media Culture, 3(4), 206-222.
Wilcox, K., & Stephen, A. T. (2013). Are close friends the enemy? Online social networks, self-esteem, and self-control. Journal of Consumer Research, 40(1), 90-103. https://doi.org/10.1086/669614
